Note: This post is for all the wishy-washy ladies out there. The I-don’t-know-what-I-want-to-eat-so-I’ll-just-have-two-of-everything types. The I-don’t-know-what-to-wear-so-I’ll-wear-jeans-and-a-dress-because-this-is-all-just-too-much sorts.
It’s for the women who have a damned hard time deciding on much of anything at all. It is meant to band together those of us whom struggle our way through simple tasks, and unite us in our shared cluelessness and confusion. (This post is not, however, meant to encourage anyone to purchase “The Struggle Is Real” t-shirts, because this slogan has gone too far and I hope we all agree that these shirts are stupid.)
Before I continue, it should be acknowledged that not all girls are so…easily challenged. If you are a different sort of girl, that is all very well and good. Should you consider yourself decisive, confident, and a non-sweater of small stuff, you will find that this post does not speak to you. In all likelihood, you will find the writing to be melodramatic and irrelevant. I want you to know that I hear you sisters, and I am not offended!
It always feels good to get the disclaimer out of the way.
Now, where were we?
Sometimes, us girls are unintentionally confident. Like when we show up to Trader Joe’s in nearly translucent leggings, and grocery shop as if we are in anything other than skin-tight clothing. We scan the produce aisles, shamelessly fondling fruit, oblivious to the fact that the curve of our butt and upper and lower leg is very much on display. Our leggings are perhaps more noticeable than the newly imported exotic fruit section (Chinese kumquats and African aloe!), but we are truly and genuinely unaware. We assume that because we aren’t trying, we aren’t noticed.
Other times, our confidence wanes. We role-play the part of “pretty” at a friend’s wedding, and do the necessary (makeup, painted nails, straightened hair…insert beauty routine of choice). From a distance, it is determined that we clean up nicely and, really, we are unmistakably presentable. When we arrive at the wedding, we find that we are in a sea of other well-groomed females, most of whom have intimidatingly large hair and perfected pouts. We pretend that we fit in, but we can’t shake the feeling that deep down, this is all just an act.
Sometimes, rather than risk failing, we deliberately flop. It’s like purposely sabotaging an otherwise beautiful photo of your girlfriends by making the most grotesque face possible. We would rather look ugly on purpose than accidentally look meh.
Being quasi-confident is confusing to the majority of those around us, because it doesn’t quite make sense. We offer straightforward opinions in some instances, and noncommittal “half-answers” on other occasions. Innocent questions such as “What do you want to drink?” become monumental road blocks that render us dysfunctional. Rather than have our internal havoc be observed by annoyed friends and impatient wait staff, we would prefer to crawl into an underground hole while we sit and have a think. At least until last call.
Well-intentioned folks will suggest that we go with our gut, which is the politically correct way of suggesting we make up our damn minds. It is commonly offered advice that does nothing at all to help the decision-maker in distress. Perhaps it’s high time we switch to a more useful expression. Anyone know of anything that works? If you hear something, say something.
Anyhow, this is all just to say that ladies, if you are like me in any way, let it be known! Let us help one another get out of our indecisive ruts and micro-sweats (aka sweating small stuffs) and agree to unlearn these bad habits. If we abandon our obsession with getting it right, we could learn to feel content.